Heartless
by dfastback68
Summary: Executor Selendis reflects on the battle against Raynor's Raiders on Haven.  Spoilerish for Wings of Liberty and refers to the Dark Templar Saga.


"_Executor Selendis, this is Doctor Ariel Hanson, of the Hav-_"

The message cut off with a single thought, and Selendis closed her eyes. Haven. The last thing she wanted to be reminded of right now. She leaned back in her seat, ignoring the insistent flashing of the console, a thousand different things demanding her attention. A time table for a meeting of the Hierarchy, the redistribution of their forces on Ehlna, intelligence reports of unrest within the terran Dominion, a fresh outbreak of zerg infestation, impatient communications from her executors, a hundred different observers with a hundred different reports... and now Haven.

The simple fact that it had not been taken over by infestation did little to stay her irritation, as the ache of her defeat there was still a sore spot. Selendis forced the unease out of her mind, not wanting to trouble her crew with such thoughts. She knew how they all felt about the mission, the anger and disappointment and pain at losing brothers to such a mundane outbreak, even with the bizarre circumstances. It still felt like a betrayal, and her respect for the terrans now hung solely on their performance in combat.

The planet the terrans dubbed Haven was barely even within the protoss territory, but Selendis still had observers posted to monitor it. Even after four years of silence from the Queen of Blades and her swarm, there was no reason not to keep any eye out for trouble. It paid off – the terrans colonized the planet, and brought with them a zerg virus that would consume them all. The early detection meant she could stop the outbreak before it got out of control.

Selendis would not allow the zerg to gain another foothold within their galaxy, not without a fight. Her fleet moved quickly, and all communications to and from the planet were cut off. Effectively isolated, the outposts were ready to be purified, until the flagship of James Raynor appeared to investigate the silence from the colonists. Selendis had wanted nothing more than to do what needed to be done, but she held her fleet back. Perhaps, as noble Tassadar had done before her, she might step aside to allow the terrans to deal with their own.

James Raynor was not the man Selendis expected him to be in the least, given the stories she had heard about him. He'd fought alongside Fenix, Tassadar, and Zeratul – he'd even stood his ground and faced certain death alongside her people on Aiur. Artanis spoke so well of him that she almost questioned which of them _was_ James Raynor on the view screen. Surely no highly esteemed friend of the protoss looked like a haggard vagabond, with blood shot eyes betraying his exhaustion and dependence on mind altering liquids.

Captain Matthew Horner, the man who _looked_ like he ought to playing the part of James Raynor, conducted himself with more honor by just standing in the background. Selendis tempered her shock as best she could. It was, she tried to convince herself, no different than the ragged way Zeratul presented himself, and she had nothing but respect for the old Nerazim.

Selendis had laid down her ultimatum: James Raynor would deal with the infested colonists himself, or she would do it for him. Either way, the infestation would be dealt with, and she could continue her vigilant patrol. The last thing she had expected was for some terran female, Doctor Ariel Hanson, to walk into the scene and sway him into protecting the colonists from Selendis' fleet. The very memory of her words, pleading Raynor to 'keep the protoss at bay', made her blood boil. Who was she to suggest Raynor turn his weapons on Selendis' people, who considered him a friend and a hero? Despite the redeeming qualities that Rosemary Dahl had brought to her gender, Selendis' distrust of Dr. Ariel Hanson echoed through her crew like a thunderclap. Manipulative, they thought, just like Kerrigan, the Queen of Blades, twisting Raynor into doing her bidding.

Selendis made it painfully clear what the consequences would be if he sided with the doctor. Choose to protect the doomed colonists, and they would meet in glorious combat. Rising against her would be an insult to Hierarch Artanis, and all the protoss that had given their lives believing in James Raynor. Friend of noble Tassadar and so many of their heroes – how could he throw that away?

But James Raynor had chosen to defy her, in favor of the doctor's pleading. Selendis had felt her respect for the terran commander falter, doubt of the Hierarch's praise edging into her mind. That he would stand against her in battle over an inevitable infestation baffled her. Even worse, his disrespect for what her people had endured at the claws of the zerg inflamed her fury. Perhaps if she had an ounce of Tassadar's compassion, Selendis would have stood down and trusted Raynor's people to find a cure.

The loss of Aiur and the pain of her people, though, had hardened her heart. There was no room for mercy anymore. Selendis could think only of justice and death to the enemies of her homeworld and of her brethren. James Raynor had suddenly joined the ranks of her enemies. Whether or not he was up for the challenge of her forces remained to be seen.

Selendis sent down her purifier, a mothership tailored specifically for scouring infestations from their stranglehold. The zerg presence on Haven would be neatly and efficiently purged, excised from the surface like a tumor. She had every intention of blocking James Raynor into his position, but he pushed past her at every opportunity. Frustrated at the lack of results, Selendis had deployed several carriers to cut off the terran patrols, only to be thwarted once again. The carriers were lost, and her ground forces could not break through his defenses. It simply wasn't enough, and she didn't have much more to spare.

The loss of the purifier had broken her – she had invested too much into the situation and paid the price for it. Too many of her men had perished, and for what? A few outposts seared off the face of the planet, and not much else. Selendis withdrew her forces as Raynor's ships advanced, not wanting to risk any more than she had. Clearly, she had underestimated him.

Selendis tried to figure out where she'd gone wrong. Had it been from the very start? Had she been too quick to action, too callous in her ultimatum and expectations? Or was it her strategy, the choice of troops she deployed somehow flawed? It nearly consumed her until she felt the crew starting to splinter under her own doubts. She had taken them out of orbit, out of sight of Haven, giving them time to recoup, and to reflect and merge within the Khala.

Not for the first time, she doubted herself. The Hierarchy hadn't been the only ones stunned by Artanis' decision to appoint her as the acting Executor of their people. Females had never been allowed such a position within their society before, which had existed unchanged for hundreds of years. On top of everything else, she suddenly represented just how much really _had_ changed in only four short years. Selendis was, however, a templar. She was a warrior, and she served her people with devotion and passion. _That_, at least, no one could dispute.

She was not infallible, she knew, but every failure seemed magnified to her. Every misstep was another reason for someone within the Hierarchy to claim she was incapable of leading their military. It took everything in her spirit to lock down her anger at those claims. No one among them was perfect, and not even Hierarch Artanis was held to just a terrible standard. While his word was final, and often the law, there was still room for disagreement and discourse. Selendis was left to admit her failures, and likely expected to grovel to prove herself to them.

The fact that she only dug her heels in and forged ahead only seemed to anger those that opposed her position. Her mistakes were few, and she learned from them as well as from her great teachers, and her decisions always reflected the best interests of their people. Her opposition had slowly become tolerant of her, but the defeat on Haven would be like a massive transgression to them. She had lost more than one battle there.

While she did not go out of her way to convince those on the Hierarchy of her capabilities, she detested how much energy she had to waste when she did have to defend herself. They were still so bogged down in bureaucracy and precedents and proper decorum she almost wanted nothing to do with them. Were it not for the Khala and the communal nature of her people, she might have learned to hate her doubters. That hate was impossible, which left her with a hollow indifference. Everything was strictly business with them.

Selendis struggled to maintain, as the memory of her last appearance before the Hierarchy still burned in her mind. There she had revealed to them that she, Artanis and Zeratul had found survivors on Aiur, only to leave them for dead. It was the worst, and hardest, decision Selendis had ever seen Artanis make, one that would likely haunt him for the rest of his long life. The Hierarchy had been furious, and the lone terran mercenary that had been present, Rosemary Dahl, had accused Artanis of being heartless.

The accusation was misplaced, Selendis thought, as Dahl's words had wounded Artanis, a brutal reminder of what had happened that day. It would have had no effect on Selendis whatsoever. If Artanis had allowed her, Selendis would have taken full responsibility for that decision. She was already on thin ice with the Hierarchy, and she could not stand to see any loss of respect her friend might suffer. Artanis was the idealist among them, and everything he did, everything he ever _would _do, was out of pure love for his people. That he had been called heartless, out of all of them, did more damage than Rosemary Dahl had intended.

Artanis had not permitted her to take the full anger of the Hierarchy on to herself. Perhaps he already saw what she was doing, or what she was becoming. He would not allow her to banish all shred of remorse and guilt in order to stand up to the Hierarchy, though she would in an instant if he asked her to do so. That, however, seemed easier than showing a scrap of kindness to a colony of infested terrans.

Selendis stirred from her reverie, the thoughts of her crew brushing against her mind, quiet reminders that they were fast approaching Shakuras. She looked down at her console, which hadn't changed apart from a few more messages and requests that required her approval. The message from Haven, recorded and passed along by one of her many observers, still waited to be played. Well, there was no point in prolonging the inevitable.

"_Executor Selendis_," the message started again, spoken by the flickering image of the female terran. "_This is Doctor Ariel Hanson, of the Haven colonists. I... wanted you to know we've isolated the zerg virus, and we're able to able reverse it, and maybe someday vaccinate against it. This is a remarkable __breakthrough – scientifically and spiritually – for my people. We know how to fight this. So, I wanted to say thank you and – I'm sorry. We all did what we thought was right, and was in everyone's best interest. I hope you can forgive Jim – and me – for all the lives that were lost. And I know you're out there, watching us and... we're safe, now. Thank you, Executor, for giving us a second chance. En- En Taro Tassadar_."

The recording faded to black, and Selendis sat still and silent for a long time. Purifying the infestation and the colonists would have, in the long run, saved many lives, which had always been her intention. Somehow, while lives had still been lost, the terrans had succeeded in making the future a little bit safer for them all. Somehow, two opposing viewpoints had garnered the same results.

It was enough to allow her to let it go. Selendis would still have to face the ire of the Hierarchy, but the news that the terrans had succeeded in saving themselves warmed her spirit. Terran and protoss alike had fought to eradicate the zerg threat that day, a unified goal despite the opposing views of how to achieve it. The breakthrough with the zerg virus gave Selendis hope, and her distrust of the terran female started to feel more like gratitude. That the doctor's words moved her, Selendis thought, meant that maybe she was not quite so heartless after all.


End file.
